What the hello! Today we have our funny food Genie Do you know what is funny accidentally stripping at a court hearing? So there's this GoDaddy commercial back in 2005. Go Daddy It's like a website hosting service. They had like the craziest budgets for these huge Super Bowl ads that had millions of people watching them. Yeah, like to be on a commercial? What would you be advertising? Godaddy.com Oh my gosh.

I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset the committee. It gets even crazier what they had like these crazy Ranch ads every single year. Here's another one. domain name guys.

It's easy. You just type in the domain name and click buy. That's pretty. That's prices started just a buck 99.

What? Only 3.99 Take me to where will the tree fall Henry Dude I just feel like feels like Minecraft You know, like oh yeah, like take the bottom stuff off. It's just like but it just stands still. It's okay. it's like that's what I tell my bed sheets all the time just holding a captain Genie which I guess for some people seems like a dream come true, but for most people, um, she's a little.

yikesies. Yep, you would say that. Yeah, little bit of dyches, a little bit of monkeys. Some people kind of like it though, but it's mostly just yikesies.

Oh that's gotta hurt it. I Think he broke his. He must have fracked his feet. Yeah holy, he's driving.

Just stop putting it there please. For the love of God I think I found a face pulling that huge. This is like those Tom and Jerry But in real life you know this cartoon I'm a real dude oh my God yo if that's the boss, say goodbye to your job. Holy unreal.

That's the dude that everyone agrees should be fired but they're short staff I Hate it when job interviewers ask what is your greatest strength. So I printed up these business cards to just hand out when asked. My ability to anticipate Honestly, not gonna lie. Would be really impressed if I were his boss.

The first thing I test is I try slapping him I Feel like did you anticipate that slightly slightly if he does and he slams your hand out of the way. Does he get the job? Oh yeah, you're hired. Nothing else matters. What kind of paint are you using to paint over this? Because if it is latex, it's probably way too cold for it.

You want good adhesion? you need like at least 40 degrees to 45 degrees. maybe? wait till it warms up a little. I mean what's the Big Brush like I'm in a rush now, but our situations are different. Is it because of how shitty this? Yeah, the paint job is being done so even the graffiti artist is coming back.

Come on dude. I Think he did more good than harm here. That's solid advice. More pillars will be better because of this.

I thought I lost 350 and then three months later I found it in my four-year-old's room. Oh saying though. if my kid had anything like a cash register, that's the first place I check because I'm pretty sure I took my parents money and put them in there. My wife is a teacher and just received this gift from a young student who's still learning.

English this can it's great at English Holy it's so poetic and it makes a lot of sense. My daughter's doing student teaching and got this recently. This did ever I work from home so my dad wanted me to sign for his package. Found this sign outside our door after I signed for the record I am not disabled ups for Signature ring bell to the right a lot multiple times keep ringing.

the bell signing is disabled and slow. Be patient. Thanks your dad called wait this is because I always complain about like UPS drivers like ring the doorbell once or don't even do that and leave in like a minute. not even in like five seconds.

Maybe we should put the sign on the door because you are slow. Yeah yeah oh my. God I got Wednesday tatted on him looks more like Samuel Jackson's daughter I got so Disturbed I'm sorry my eyes were like what the I mean it might not be Wednesday but look it's just so bad having Samuel L Jackson's daughter on you like Amongst my dad's Christmas decorations is a set of porcelain angels in a box March Christmas Angles So this season I finally made him the Christmas Ingles he deserves. If there's anyone that would appreciate this, it would be a dad.

Yeah this is the stupidest I've ever seen I would be the mom that oh thanks 3D Anyways you know we're taking out the trash right now and uh rip Shelbyville I wish I lived in Shelbyville Watch this news and was like what the how what even happens at negative 1000 degrees you just freeze and crumble, just turn into powder and the simplest creatures in the world. men are they having a bet of who's gonna win first it was gonna knock the other guy out oh so close. 14 guys ball number one one I don't wanna sign because you're just gonna be in the back. He's gonna be like hey son, what did you accomplish today He's like I watched two ball skin.

you gotta know who wins I think women are just jealous that they can't be so happy at such simple things. Oh no I miss my train. you only have one item you can go in front of me I also have one item. hello well see I have two items right? So if I let you go then that is the equivalent of someone to what else like me is going in.

I you know the mess doesn't check out. Don't be an to the guy that was just trying to be nice if he didn't offer to shut the up. This guy's saying like do not take my generosity as weakness it is Terrace that was terrible Damn. Henry We need a cat.

Yeah, it's all fun and games until the cat doesn't emerge from the other side and then you find him in the walls 30 years later. Huh? Oh, he missed that one. Wait, Is that for real or no? Yeah, of course lasers can reach millions of miles. I'm gonna wrap it up and just say something to all the new up and coming dreamers and artists that are in the room tonight.

I Want to let you know that there is a a definitive blueprint that you can follow to achieve success. This guy's ready longevity and peace of mind. It's a blueprint and I followed it my whole career. It's very simple.

There's three things you just do these three things: Pay your taxes, mind your business, and keep. Will Smith Uh, the delivery was Perfection that took 43 seconds to get to that punch line. What a comedy gone God Wilson's gonna be the laughing stock of Hollywood Forever which is great but you know he was kind of being a little bit creepy. Oh my.

God Oh my shitty blender. Yeah my favorite team because he's choked on too many shitty blunders. This is my Christmas present from my boss. I'm a 41 year old man and neither my first nor last name start with the T Well now it does.

Buddy is there like a label that she tore off of. it. Seems like something you get at like Marshalls for like five dollars just like randomly on the Shelf Oh, this looks pretty interesting I Feel like Christmas presents from bosses are just like I don't really give like let's just take whatever. Okay, not me I give the best Christmas present Shitty the restrooms at my local pizzeria.

Oh it's because women prefer to pee in groups. Oh that's that's if I were a guy because you're like, well I get more pizza here I Want to go to one with more pizza days After ex-partner Shakira said you traded a Ferrari for a twingo, he traded her Rolex for a casino Gerard Peak Arrived at work driving a twinkle and wearing a casino watch. Twinkle sounds so cute! Also, nothing wrong with a Casio watch. They uh, they do their job.

Plus does that Ferrari have 30 miles to the gallon like your twingo I Don't think so. So apparently I need to explain the in-laws how bagged milk works. Oh no I don't think I know how bagged milk works either. What is that? Is that milk? This is how milk Works bags of milk that go into jugs.

What? So you put it in here. Is that a Brita filter? Are you filtering your milk? I Think you need to explain. not only to the In-laws but to the internet because you have to explain to us. Americans Yeah, you need to teach the Reddit too.

What is Milk Man? I'm scared. Stupid names for children and the amount of money people have. so if you have no money, it's gonna be stupid if you have some money. yeah, it'll be normal.

if you have too much money, the names start getting real stupid again. I Understand why? Like stupid people give stupid names. but why do rich people also give stupid names? Because everything in life is a joke to them I Wish that I could go back in time so I could blow everybody's Minds with my incredible knowledge of the future. So how do you make one of these cell phones? No.

I Thought about this. Not a good idea because you're actually going to be tried for witchcraft or like some the devil possessed your soul so they'll actually kill you faster. You have to go back at a sweet spot where they didn't believe in that Voodoo so maybe like after the Industrial Revolution and then do this: the beard attractiveness graph: stubble really attractive patchina some weird attractive I really need to shave beard great but then you get terrorists Orthodox Jew Amish Duck Dynasty Cosplay The thing goes all the way back up when you become Gandalf Can I see what Duck Dynasty cosplay is I need to know like it's like Midway like almost getting off but like more like yeah American selves. Yeah, it's not quite there.

so let me get this right. Terrorists are more attractive than the Amish and Orthodox Jews yeah What about No Can I Can I add to this chart Gimli he's got braids in there. that's next level. I'm sick PS3 Hagrid Oh oh that goes hard.

It's settled. My wife is wrong for once. Thanks Daisy To prolong freshness, come completely remove card this foil seal. You're supposed to remove that.

Wait what? Wait I Thought that was supposed to preserve the freshness I saw your support What? Oh as in once you open it, you're supposed to remove it completely. Why? yeah I Don't get it. Can I figure out why I couldn't put up my shoes on. it's because my six-year-old sold a Great Prank that's adorable.

He's like Mommy my feet are in yours I Would want to get something matching with my kids. This is so cute, oh so cute. I would buy you the big Vans and then I buy our son like the small ones and then I I like dress you guys up I dress you guys out seeing matching so like he matches his papa. He's so cute.

Do you not have those thoughts Really? No. here we go. What is that sound? What the did I just hear all I hear is just like like a like a beating noise. Oh my God the next kid that comes by yeah and turns that thing on mom.

Why does my pee pee feel funny right now perfectly entertain the sound of a lawn cutter I'm dirty. holy crap that's kind of freaky man. like does he know how good he is I mean like the dude probably can't even speak yet. What was little Billy's first words.

All right that's it for our funny smash like to deliver auction to the grandpa who's about to think I Hope you have a great day. We'll see you next time. Peace, Bye bye Today we're playing Fear pong. You have to do the nuzzles pounces.

you make a beautiful chicken. You're a very beautiful. Confess your lustful and impure thought. Do whatever they say is necessary for Penance Oh I don't like any of these Father I have sinned in my youth I had.