All right. Genie Today we're checking out some memes I Love Mimies! when she asked if I saved her the best seat in the H you know how be I Always sa the best scene in the house for you B Bro dropped her off in style. Oh oh he's so fly dude. save some for the rest of us.

Godd damn bigger than Africa What's bigger than Africa oh oh yeah, that's that's a whole ass tripod a motorcycle Sals you're having a a what? oh my God that bike did more than her boyfriend ever. Did you know how you say you want to ride a motorcycle Indian Suck a dick. had she had she thought about what that means yeah I was like ma'am Have you ever been fingered by a MMA fighter before fingered? Yeah Fingered? No. What would it take to to finger me? Yeah.

like are we talking about the same thing. So apparently finger in the UK means something different I I Don't think this is a thing. Okay, never mind. he just wanted to stick his hand in her V he hasn't unlocked that part of the nap yet.

This is how it feels like when you're driving though. right? 1 second? nothing second. what? Me watching airplane passengers spend 20 minutes queuing a line for reserve seats. You want to know why cuz each person takes like 2 seconds to put their thing up and then there's always that one person like wait I want to take something out from my bag stands In Blocky Aisle I Usually just wait for the line to die down.

I'll just be the one sitting alone in the chairs while everyone's standing up I'll just be like eating my lunch B Friend thinks me having my period is metal River Blood anging above only hate, no love uterous Contracting Giver of Life Now produces pain. he's kind of dead on. periods are metal. it's the most rage blood, literal blood pain how girls think I react when they make this cringe, waiu face.

What? That's not it. that's not. That's not it at all. How I actually react the tongue is huge.

you said you're giving up smoke I was high when I said that dude. that's the epitome of like I was going to give a weed but then I got high o I was going to be healthy but then I got high omigle getting randomly shut down for no reason after 14 years. Okay, no reason. Sure there's reasons, but I'm surprised it lasted that long.

The entire website just like 13-year-old girls looking at. How did that last for 14 years? I actually also didn't understand why there were actually women on there considering the amount of P when you start playing the new Modern Warfare 3 and quickly realized you wasted $70 Is this also $70 H Everything's $69.99 Starfield was 70. not anymore Motherfu telling every man in the office I like their shirt, then telling the frequency at which they each wear it over the next quarter to calculate my individual influence to adjust the amount of seconds I look into their eyes accordingly wa that got real like Psychopathic if this happened I would probably never wear the shirt ever again. Why? cuz like the reason guys can wear the same shirt over and over again is because nobody notices I don't want you to notice that I'm wearing something I Really like this shirt I'll never wear it again.

My grasp of reality falling apart after finding out that the lyrics of p P P Poker Face Face not P p Poker Face P What? What? huh? But but why why would you her face just Gaga Things Man Whenever a movie has to explain how a worm hole works like the paper trick or something like oh yeah yeah yeah the paper are they like poke a hole right? Yeah yeah. something like that, you take the plane of existence, you fold it in half and that's how you get to the other side but then you fold it back down. Now you're in two different places. This is like some Marvel You know y'all stomach ever hurt so bad you start like this: what is this man's flexibility yo I don't think he's on the toilet I think he's getting ran in the ass and he's just gay.

Why is it in both situations they're butt naked I like kind of like understand what they're saying sometimes getting in this position like doing that actually helps the pain of getting a big black d Being a boy must be hard. Like they have to text us first and buy us food and always look cute with no makeup and have nice cars and a steady job. And be tall and impress parents and friends and brothers and sisters. And be a gentleman always and never be in a bad mood like wow.

a Finally acknowledging that it's difficult being a boy I Acknowledge it's difficult being a girl. You guys have periods, you're emotional, you're you're unstable. No No. I'm just.

My son tells me his test score of 47 out of 50 I Scream at him for not getting 100% I accuse him of never studying and always playing video games and threatened to cut them off completely. Why doesn't my son tell me his test scores anymore? Isn't this like Asian Appearance I Always have to nag my son I Always tell my son how much of a failure he is. Why doesn't he call me anymore? Like if I was. President No apartment would cost more than $100 Pretty sure this would would lead to some sort of economic crisis.

My second order will sending you to hell Yeah, that's right. Shut the up ganzy boy. I'm the President. My dictation as president 13 months and one year followed by puppies for everyone.

Why on? Earth would you say half a dozen when you can literally say six? That's a great Point People go like it's a quarter to 5. Just say it's like 4:45 Can I have a dozen? just say 12 I make 500,000 versus I make half a million I guess half a million because then you just think about million see words. A reditor in 2018 writing an answer to an obscure question I'll Google years later. this is a secret life hack that I think all people should know, but it never works.

Gen Z you're not funny, Furer J Alpha Ohio Gat Skibby Pizza Circus Captain America Civil War The fu is Ohio each generation it just becomes more and more illegible. Skibby is like I don't know. Jinny's getting old. This is what old age looks like guys.

It's a terrible ugly thing to see, huh? I'm just kidding. when Dad brings you into the gym locker room, you see an uncircumcised for the first time I've seen it in other ways. Is your dad uncircumcised? No, he's circumcised How wait actually? Oh no. I think I probably saw it when I like accidentally saw like a friend dick in the watching room when we were like six.

You know when like little boys didn't know how to like properly conceal their penises. so you saw like all of them. How many colors do you see I see 1, 2, 3, 4 yeah I see 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 eight? What? Count again nine. What are you 10 11 Henry You're fuing with me now.

No oh my. God there's more. If you like, really, pay attention. What are you talking about? There's like 16 dude.

Oh no, there's seven Stripes when Jen Z complains about Jen Alpha's Skib toilet Obsession as if they didn't act the exact same way with you Ugandan Knuckles All right, it's time to look up Skibby Toilet. Maybe I'm just an old man, but I'm like, come on, we we had better stuff in this. Wednesday My Dan Mario movie FNAF Movie critics hate it. Audience loves it.

That's because critics are like looking at Movies critically hence the name critics so they have to judge it based off of originality. Uh, in terms of like the history of Cinema and what it does to move the pin forward for movies. And none of these movies do. They're just here for the fans of Mario and fin Nights at Freddy's but what about peaches? Peaches, Peaches.

Peaches. peaches. Took a 4-Hour nap and freaked everyone out. sorry I'm a foul teren.

Okay, don't spook us like that. I was about to drive from Katy Call me 911. Okay, you're worrying me Trey Getting off work Are you okay? sister? sister, sister, sister try to call you like a million times I could go missing for a whole month and nobody would even notice. same Yeah.

I've never really been one to freak out about this stuff because most people just aren't receptive to their phones. They probably just don't have have their phone where they just didn't feel the vibration. Now if they haven't responded in like 24 hours, then they're dead and that's it people be like I Love winter from their living room under a heated blanket with some cozy socks on and sipping hot tea. No.

go outside and like it. Let's see. I Still used to love it because then you could build snowmen and stuff. You can still say I love winter for the coziness that comes from it.

Do you like summer or do you like staying inside with the nice air conditioner? Yeah! Starfield Tears of the Kingdom Spider-Man to Balers Gate Game of the Year about to be handed to some Remastered game. Dude, are you kidding me? What if Resident Evil 4 wins I'm going to pull a let's go Mario Wonder We just finished. it was actually pretty good. Yeah even people who like Starfield it's not game of the year which is sad.

It's really sad. Balers Gate might might be better than Starfield Ooh me just trying to search for a haircut. Every picture. Yeah, that's the generic haircut.

It's the same one that I have too. it's just very generic. Mine is just like lazy don't give F but can't do cly because Asian so must do this haircut. Mine is because I have a gay alien skull put my hair down.

Welcome to Trenton High School this High School had a misspelling on their new signs so their football opponents that week took advantage. Oh we come Welome to the Trenton High School Welome to Trenton to bring you the L you're missing Oh you don't like the dish Wow I I Guess it works on me I appreciate it I'm like the one person in the crowd that's like more like we come on your face scientists. We have found so many earthlike plants already. Why haven't we found evidence of complex organic life yet? The Earth likee planets in question.

We found planets like that. that's so cool. that's like an MMO Zone in real life. it's like where Illin fought like synr Goa Do we all have that friend that when you go out with them it feels like they're a local politician who knows everyone on Earth and you're their weird mute friend who just left the house for the first time in 8 years and is learning to smile again.

Yeah, it's called being a social butterfly, but sometimes you get free stuff. You know, like they know people at the restaurant. They give you free food. It's nice having a friend like that.

Rumors about GTA 6 started circulating me. it's coming out for PS4 I Don't think it's coming out for PS4 The GTA was on the PlayStation I thought it was on the Xbox You should have just like show in N64 and apolog N64 his game playay Advanced just like M time to blow out the filter for the cartridge May I get you snap ask my boyfriend for it. he's in my bio. Okay your girl told me to ask you for her snap which is kind of weird but can I get her snap? Can I have it? so can I have it this man Brave this man.

Desperate. would you give snap? No no one. 12-year-old me watching window media player visualizations while listening to songs. oh yeah you remember that they used to have like weird playing like just lions like colorful Lions playing in the back I remember that why' they get rid of that.

it's just a black screen now too many people are like it's like an acid trip. why are you playing Lego you're 25 years old finally I can play with toys I wanted when I was a child from poor family. okay yeah that's true I played with the same like Lego pieces like I never had like any official sets because we were like too poor to buy them. so I just played with like the same pieces that I had for like 10 years straight and I just build different things at the same pieces.

Also Legos are really good adult activity. You put blocks together and you build something amazing. Regular companies making one type of product Hitachi making kitchen appliances, tanks, construction equipment, electronics and sex TS M Hitachi Sexs I mean wow Itachi Fridges Wow. It's like the fridge is a su.

you're like I've actually never heard of Itachi I've heard of Itachi now that's a badass motherucker who Inspire the next next to. So their two greatest exports are vibrators and Claw Mach I can see the relation. A year should have 13 months. What? if we had 13 months instead of 12, every month would be exactly 28 days.

The first would always be a Monday and the 26th would always be a Sunday. Every month would have exactly 4 weeks instead of 4.25 s. Then we would properly align ourselves with the cycle of moon. Jesse What the you talking about? Okay in this case Jesse is actually big brain yo.

So why is it not like this? Who's the dumb That said we should have 12 months If I became President of the world the Universe I would change it to this. No. YouTube You can't block ad blockers on your platform. Oh my.

God The EU once again putting the social media Giants in their place. ad block is like I appreciate it. but I we found a way to work around it. It's too late I've already got YouTube Red whatever I had faith I held on you didn't you've always had YouTube Red on my phone.

but I Metant for my for my computer. my wife yelling at me about the shoes all over the floor by the back door and then her suddenly stopping midw as she realizes that all the shoes are hers. Might be the single greatest moment in my life thus far. Wait, But how could you yell at somebody about something that you do yourself? What a hypocrite! The Duality of Japan We've got bullet trains, robot store staff, electronic toilet seats, talking showers.

The rest of the world. you don't see that they use fax machines, floppy discs, paper filing. they do not use floppy discs. Okay, but they don't use credit cards, which is the craziest thing in the world.

Why don't you just take my credit card Japanese toilets are Pinky and henic bro, you're getting turned on by your bedet bro I'm in bed in tears. This man's really said probably not. Hey Listen, you're cool and all, but your breath smells and it makes me uncomfortable I Can brush my teeth in the morning next time. Can you do it like every day? Probably not.

I Really don't like being told to do stuff. My suggestion would be to find someone you think is better than me. Good luck. It seemed like a very polite exchange if you just ended it here.

I Think this is implied that they would do it every day. So I Think saying it might have pissed this person off just to confirm everyone feels tired all the time no matter how much sleep they get or caffeine they consume but also has trouble falling asleep is constantly hungry, but also nauseous with acid reflux. Spends every second working or cleaning, yet nothing gets accomplished. Ooh this this hit a bit too hard.

That's called living an unhealthy lifestyle. probably not the guy on YouTube that wake up at 4:00 a.m. and then do yoga for 2 hours and then meditate for 3 hours and then have asai bowls for lunch. Remember the original duck hunt? Yeah, neither does AI wait, hold on.

Why is the kid smoking yo? This is the coolest fictional Universe I've seen I want to exist in this fictional Universe where we have Ducks as pets and everyone just looks rugged and cool. They stole my laptop last night and they sent me an email using my email I have mixed emotions now. sorry for the laptop bro how's it I know I stole your laptop yesterday I needed the money as I have been struggling to make ends me I see that you busy with the research proposal I have attached it and if there are any other files that you need, please alert me before Monday 12 since I have found a customer once again NG bro that's very thoughtful. Maybe that's fine.

he probably needed more than I did. If you're having trouble putting food on the table, then take my laptop I think it's more terrified that he's perhaps maybe logged in on it cuz then that means he has ACC the bank accounts watches me. This intro is taking too long skips 1 minute. they eaten ass Me Now I Got to rewind because obviously it's the key element to the story.

No you, that is the key element to the story. He needs to know. How did the eating of the come about? If the movie is called Big Black Buttholes then the eating is the story. That's it.

My teacher came to school in pajamas to protest finals being held at 7:00 in the morning. Wait, who decides this? I Never thought that you know, like maybe even the teachers don't want to be awake. Like when you get your schedule, it's like oh crap I have like 8 A.m. classes? Do you think the teacher also feels the same way? like oh crap I have 8 A.m.

classes. Let's officially move it so that it starts at like 10? Yeah, 10 P.m. No. 10: A.m.

Oh 10: A.m. Yeah. Taylor Swift After re-releasing a decade old album with literally zero changes I think I'm more disturbed by this Patrick Baitman Taylor Swift AI Picture It's good. It's really good.

Okay, never mind. Apparently like her record label screwed her so she's just trying to get her money. Oh, do you think Taylor Swift needs more money? Yeah, that's my next question. Like oh, a guy can decline an invitation by saying his girlfriend won't let him go and everyone will likely understand.

But if a girl declines an invitation by saying her boyfriend won't let her go, people will likely get concerned. Yeah that is interesting. like it's more normal for a girl to be controlling, but if a guy is controlling. oh man that that about to murder her when she gets home she's going to be chopped up in the the bathtub soon, probably abuses her, hits her girlfriend doing a this just woman being woman.

you know alpha males when you tell them. American Psycho is directed by a woman? Really? Oh because a lot of people watch the movie like unironically I think that that's what should be done Unironically Like literally they think you should murder woman. Yeah, they actually think like Patrick Baitman is an Alha which is the the issue. He's a psycho.

Yeah, a lot of people miss that point. it's in the title. I I Know me and the cop were stuck at a red light downtown for like 5 minutes and no other cars were around and he looked over at me and nodded and we both ran the red light together. Doesn't happen dude.

he only let you do this because you were there because cops do the all the time 100% but he saw that you were there. He's like this guy's going to report me if I don't let him do it to he should have nodded and as soon as he went give him a ticket and he's like but you know not it. It's like that never meant consent. Yeah, psych.

My boyfriend doesn't really have friends so when we get into fights, he has no one to talk about it. So I have to fill that role and listen and be like yeah I don't know your girlfriend sounds crazy bro. This is true though. like I feel like guys also need a friend to rant if I started ranting about our own fights to Genie I I think it just like explode.

go for it and he knew it was a trap Chim help her after bullying the autistic coworker for his wife's Amusement No need to thank me. Yeah, now that I think about it. J's kind of a dick and Dwight is kind of autistic. yeah I never really thought about it that way, but this is true.

but it makes for entertaining television so thank you. My goal was Au I think they're they're both autistic. That's why best your friend. The way men can effortlessly flirt with their homies, but fumble talking to a bad needs to be studied is this cuz there's there's no pressure.

The homies are going to shut me down. That's true. You have so much more to lose with a bad. It's going to have implications that are going to last for years and you're going to be thinking about it years later in bed, thereby causing anxiety that just skyrockets.

It's not the same, but in that same bed is your homie cuddling with you being what's wrong bro. Imagine pulling up to Coachella selling these and watching people's mouths fill up with towels. 10 pack of portable disposable compressed towels perfect for outdoor travel. and Hiking Oh, those are towels.

Yeah, but this is my concern. They're going to put up their but holes. You can only drink one strength. poison breath.

Talk to plants. Courage. always relax. Become a dragon.

Instant death flight down to instant death. Congrats You now have the power to instantly kill your opponents. Oh, talk to plants. Has to be the most boring one possible.

Like what does a plant have to say? This chloroform feeling kind of good today. You know, chloroform photosynthesis. Oh yeah, the photosynthesis kind of good today. You know when humans label you the world's ugliest animal? only after your deformed half- rotted corpse angry blockfish noises? I mean he still kind of looks ugly in his normal form too.

I Actually think his rotted corpse version is like cute? No, this is cute. Yeah, it's kind of cute. Okay, maybe not flaish had hope in you bro you let him down people who sleep with their phone on silent or DND really don't give a about nobody's life look if you decide to have a problem after midnight, that's between you and God To be honest, fair enough. I Actually never thought about it that way that like someone might be dying and calling me with the amount of spam calls I get.

there's absolutely no way even if there were like a 1% chance that like Genie died I'm not going to wake up to spam calls for the rest of my life. For that, it's it's a risk Henry's willing. It's a risk I'm willing to take I'm sorry he's like thank God in fact Godamn I'm opening 50 Shades of Gray to a random page and posting what I find part night Christian Gray puts his thumb in my mouth and then the other one and then two more wider he said as he put in one more I bet you've never had this many thums in your mouth I had it. Where is he getting all those stuff? This can't be real I need to read this book Henry for research purposes I was like he must be mean the other fingers but then he specifically says thumbs Like just thumbs.

What do you mean just thumbs Christian GRE just all thumbs. My therapist is selling her house so I'm going to fin the listing online and make her living room my zoom background before our next session. You want to get in my head. Okay, well.

I'm in your home babe. I'm in charge now. You're the one who is going to the therapist for help. Why are you spiting her Yeah? I Don't think the therapy is working.

it's just not working. What's the strangest punishments your parents ever gave you? My parents said I was playing too much Skyrim when it came out so they took the router with them to work every day. Good thing you don't need Internet to play offline single player game. They took the router.

Dude, this is the same thing when people say their parents like deleted the shortcut off the desktop. It's like the game's still on the computer. Yeah, this is why my dad just broke my keyboard. That stopped me from playing games D that just slammed it against the bed.

All the keys came out yeah I Couldn't play. wait. the keys came out I I could have put the keys back I was too much at the age of whatever I mean our job is to demand solution not to provide Solutions Well, like if you don't know what the solution is, how can you demand it if it's not possible but you don't know that it's not possible. That's like say I demand $100 per hour minimum wage.

but what if it's just not possible and then you don't know that it's not possible but you keep demanding for it? Well then find a solution. Okay, not my job. My company does this Icebreaker thing where every week a different person sends an email to the whole company talking about their average day and today's cooworker started his I wake up each day Furious to be laboring under capitalism and it has caused quite a stir I Don't think you're were supposed to be that honest today I Shot on Sharon's desk. Yep she's a all that's it for memes.

What? Everything A not everything's a okay detailing. the tree will not help wait. Can get this everyone. Are you? There's one more.

Do it. Yeah.