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My child got sent zoom detention for not paying attention in zoom. Fourth grade email said: here's the link to access the room to serve detention. I swear i'm trying so hard to take this life seriously. He's like okay.

I would just like record myself sitting there and then loop it after like the fifth minute and it's like bill you're happy. Do you know what you did wrong unless they like actually talk to everybody, make sure that people are actually there, but there's no way? Oh my god. Yes, you can just minimize it and then play minecraft hey how strict was your parents? If i had fun today, i can't have fun tomorrow. Sorry, i mean yeah, because if you had fun today because you didn't work, then you have to make it up.

Sometime yeah, you can have fun every day. No work and more fun makes sally a dull girl, the i think. That's not. The line makes jack a doll boy.

It's about balance except junior, has no balance hey what bill gates was a dropout yeah, but he dropped out of harvard not 11th grade intensive reading. If you made it to harvard like it's. Okay, if you drop out because, like you've already proved yourself and it kind of is more like - did he drop out because he's like nah, this isn't gon na help me. I know better.

It's like you, hit the cap of schools and you're like even this isn't good enough. I need to like burst out of it. Is that what you tell yourself, because, because you dropped out of bu, for you me pretending to be a submarine in the public school yeah whenever i'm like i'm like underwater, it does look like that too. Because of the reflection i think swimming was a lot more magical.

When i was a kid, it was like underwater fantasy, like oh i'm gon na search for something at the bottom of the pool or like. Oh i'm a mermaid or look i'm even floating in this substance called water. Now it's just like water, when i google, something really specific and some random dude on red, already asked it 10 years ago or like a cure right, that's the other website quora. Why do i call it cure if you have the question chance or somebody else has asked that question at some point on the internet? No, there was one question.

We asked that the internet didn't ask: is it bad that our dog is taking and choosing her own toy out of like her selection of toys? You should ask reddit it's reddit or cura. You still say kyora me, you can copy my homework, but don't make it obvious. My friend, oh my gosh, oh my gosh. What how is it so spun on did was the same animators working on two different.

He like copy and paste his homework, like literally like he worked on working on both movies and they were like. Oh did you have the sketch for the mowgli scene and he's like uh copy and paste like done. I just finished beating someone up and i hate myself for it, but he kicked my cat. Oh, my god, i just had a roommate coming to my house drunk and starting to fight start a fight with me and when i didn't reciprocate he kicked my 60 week old kitten.

I proceeded to beat his ass for 30 minutes. I feel very ashamed, but i love my cat. It was multiple beatings in a 30 minute time frame. I mean he got the fight that he wanted kind of deserved.

I don't think anyone should do that to six week old kitten, john wick kitty style yeah, like john wick, literally killed like 1700 guys over a dog. It was pretty reasonable stuff. Then what would happen if they killed his wife? Maybe push one of them down me and my dad are sharing the dining room table working from home today, he's an aerospace engineer on the conference, call ordering fuselage prototypes and i'm drying a duck. What was your work, though? Are you an artiste? I mean fuselage.

Prototype sounds pretty cool, but drawing a duck that could be pretty cool too. I bet yours has a better chance of making the fridge than it is. Though, oh teacher hello, can you guys hear me if you can? Please respond the whole class yeah? Who, who would respond? Nobody wants to be there, whoever says anything, everyone's going to hate that kid he's going to get bullied? Okay, mr peterson, my seven-year-old brother, i'm so good at math. Ask me any question i'll give you the answer me.

What is 5-10 my brother, who hasn't learned about negative numbers, but then, at the same time i want you to just leave the room like leaving him in existential crisis like so. If there's five oranges and you take ten away and you're like wait, how can you take? How can you take ten away, wait, yeah, i remember being seven and thinking like this. Is it that's all you need like adding stuff like hey? If you have two of these add two, you got four like what else do you need? How much further can that really get right? Can we all just go back to what really matters? It's counting the apps yeah like how many apples we have like. That's all that matters in life.

When, when do you ever need trigonometry, i noticed my wife and kids were wearing vests, so i put one on just so i could say best day ever just like a million times, then i took it off just so. I can mention that i wasn't invested as they were. I'm gon na get vesticular cancer from all these jokes. Let me think of one.

I am gon na manifest a pun right now. What did i not mom missed? Call 10 dad missed call 10.. My dad won't call 10 times it's my mom calling his food. Oh like wait.

A second that looks really weird. I've never seen that before max. My dad called was: oh, my god. It's just once my dad's never called me.

Do you all introverts ever open a text and think i'll reply when i have the energy and then it's three weeks and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend, i feel bad if i don't respond in like one day two days when I feel like really kills me like that's why i just reply just reply. Let's reply, it doesn't have to be like the craziest message. I think i've said this before, but, like the quicker you reply, the less you have to say because they'll respect that you applied quickly and they will overlook the fact that you only replied with a few words say: haha yeah. What are the earliest signs of pregnancy? Asking what are the earliest signs of pregnancy not wrong? It's most likely uh pregnant.

No! What if i'm just curious like what, if i just on twitter, ask what are the earliest signs of pregnancy? Why would you need to know i'm curious, yeah, yeah, there's! No other reason: huh yeah, okay, so sad when i find a great song and they check out other songs by the same artiste and realize that i don't like any of their other songs. I mean that's, usually a good thing, because that means the artist actually like, tries different things and tries to advance their music whereas like, if all their like songs, sound the same. That means they really only had one idea and that's when their career created, you listen via artists, like you, listen to their entire albums yeah i'm invest in their story. People who treat their birthday as a normal day think they're more mature than everyone.

We are just miserable leave us alone, i think more, so that i'm a lazy piece of i can't be bothered we're just lazy and anti-social yeah. That's it! I can't be bothered to make like extra energy for, like. Oh, my god like have a cake, invite friends and i'm kind of like, but i don't wan na what, if i just lay in bed all day, that'll be the best gift for me and that'd be the best birthday for me, normal people. Oh my god.

I just killed a spider. Meanwhile australians yeah, i saw this a while ago. I don't understand why the kangaroo had the dog in the headlock he's like oh yeah, you want to go come here. Come here, buddy yeah jacked.

I punch jacked kangaroo in the face. If a kangaroo was like yeah choking on i'd, be like oh you i mean he didn't run, he just stood there like what i can't accomplish done this a guy. My age was telling me how happy he was that his wife just gave birth to their fourth. Child then, was, like sorry, don't mean to brag, and it's like.

Oh no worries your life literally sounds terrible to me, yeah four, kids in this economy. Oof i mean hey if they can afford four children. He wants four children. Then good friends, i mean stop at three.

I would stop at two. Oh, my parents have access to mine of my brother's bank accounts and accidentally took money out of my brother's savings. Instead of theirs to pay the mortgage and every time we tell him to do something, he says you can't talk to me like that in my house. Well, then, why don't you just pay the guy back, but it's just the fact that, like every day in this childhood has been listening to his parents, be like it's, my house and you can't talk like that and now he's like you are my spin spawns and Minions now study eating ice cream for breakfast may improve mental performance.

I'm not saying you're wrong. I'm just saying that the times i'd ice cream for breakfast were not during the times my life was going well. Also, i think i've tested it out. I actually crash, so you know this is a just terrible idea.

What are they talking about at that? Point? Eat some spoonfuls of sugar and add it to some milk call it a day after a couple slices of pizza, my three-year-old bursts into tears and says my mouth wants more, but my tubby doesn't look. That's really good dude. This is me at the age of 28. Of several food items just like i do want to cry about it because, like i want to eat more, but if i put another spoon in my mouth, i'm literally gon na puke pizza is basically the definition of my mouth wants more, but my tummy doesn't oh Yeah the tummy is like, oh, my god, the amount of cheese you ate.

No, your mouth always wants more pizza me watches a show called unsolved mysteries narrator. The case was never solved me. So do you really have to say that if your show is called unsolved? Mysteries i mean still. It is really like all the build up.

You know that they gave to the case of like oh so they solved this and they got this and they were so close, but it was never solved me when my girlfriend is too busy socializing and integrating to my family, like i myself, never could click on It click on it. Oh my god, that's like me and family. He even has your eyebrows. He has your eyebrows he's so bushy and sick and he's like jenny, loves her family.

I do she's very good with family yeah. I don't know what to say. I'm just like uh: do you know about skyrim modding? Would you rather have 30 million dollars or 30 million loyal friends? The am i gon na. Do with 30 million loyal friends, ask each of them to give you a hundred dollars.

If you have 30 million friends start a country exactly you would have a country. At that point, you would be a president you'd be better than a president. You'd, be a dictator. Wait a second dude, i'm taking 30 million loyal friends, aka 30 million loyal slaves.

You know what i'm saying if you're one of those public speakers that say good morning oh come on, we could do better than that good morning. I automatically do not like you from that moment on. Actually, every public speaker does this like they always got ta make sure that everyone's like alive, but what, if i'm just dead inside the most dangerous game to play, is resting your eyes in the morning after shutting off your alarm genie can relate so hard to this Genie relates so hard that she can't even speak right now. This is so genie irl, oh my god.

I don't like this meme, i feel so attacked. So i'm at a grocery store and a guy, looks at me and then turns to his wife and says: oh yeah. We need none. I wouldn't know whether to be like offended by that or like happy that i help the guy.

I want to feel offended. I just laugh really hard like. If someone looked at me, you're, like oh yeah, i forgot we need kimchi. I just feel like a teenager at work.

Asked me if i was old enough to have seen a playstation 2 in real life, and if anyone needs me, i will be quietly walking into the sea dude. This is, this is some grand scheme of plot by like gen z, until i can make us all feel old. This has to be. Why would you ask that like why, or maybe we are just old? I guess it's the same as us when we asked the older gen like what was it like to play a dream cast with these newfound monitors and they're like less than an inch thick with oh yeah, you're back in my day, you shake this whole thing.

It's like it's cute, you could taste the spoon more than the ice cream. I was gon na say very much so something about that wooden taste is super strong huh and it wasn't just for this ice cream. I feel like that. Wooden spoon was for several different snacks.

No, this is the the doctors stick down your throat. I think they stuck something longer no wow how old but she's trying to find out if the rock that hit your car actually tripped the pain or not. Why why doesn't she get out of the car? You mean you can try opening your eyes. Oh she's, like looking really intently.

Besides your buddy there in the back they're trying to give you some support. Yeah i mean because that position she's holding to really look out the window is kind of precarious, so yeah making sure she doesn't fall over or slam her head on the glass. That's gon na, be it for me. I real leave a like if you related to any of these and leave a comment down below which one you was totally you all right.

Thank you. So much see you guys next time, no, no! No! No! No give an actual one. No! That's it! Goodbye goodbye goodbye goodbye, thank you so much.