Today we're doing yes yes yes, no a no no no yes, here's a no no no yes Okay here's a little trick to turn your woman on anytime you want. So all you got to do is put your hand right here and reach up just like this and they all have this little cord and you pull it out like so and now what you're going to do is take the cord and plug it in just like this and Boom works every time. Why didn't I How did I not know that? what are you doing I'm going to turn you off CU I'm out so I can conserve your energy. No, you turn me off.

Okay, but where does the cord go? It's a girl secret I pulled the cord and now there's blood everywhere. it oh my. God How to impress a girl Do a flip wait like no context. He doesn't even know who she is.

You imagine you turn around and that's the first thing you see. You're just like I feel like she'd be traumatized like what's what's going on. he's like. So anyway, babe, give me your number now! I was booked on a United Flight 93 on 911 2001 flying non-stop from New York New Jersey to San Francisco California Around midnight the night before, a cooworker called me, urging me to change my flight to fly into San Jose Instead this meant I have to give up my first class SE and move a flight.

The reason my cooworker told me to change my flight was she took the same flight on 9:10 and the commute from San Francisco to Mountain View would make me late for my meeting whereas traveling from H San Jose to Mountain View would be faster in the morning. She saved your life with advice which you follow whatever happened to your coworker. Sad to say I ultimately had to fire her for poor performance. It was difficult what? but she saved your life.

I mean yeah. I Guess you can't like keep paying someone's salary just because they saved your life. What you can buying fish at Petco Fail. Oh wow.

Oh Flying fish. Okay dude, is the fish going to die by the end of this? Is this it? My chance? Yeah. So cool. All right.

the toys is going to be in there too. Nice. So there's like a camera attached so they can see what it's looking at. This would have been so sad if that were like a real fish.

Thank God Damn dude, these cars can't watch where they're going. Okay, to be fair, this is a road. So this RC that's a Car Genie that's R that's a car. Well technically the other car had ride away.

That was unfortunate but funny. Yep, what going to happen? Don't do it. He can still get it. Chiny I mean if he knows how to swim and open his eyes Under The Water You think like he died over that? No.

CU Let's say that's like $20,000 You'd probably swim a little bit too far to get that, you know I'd learned how to swim for that 20K I'd learned right then and there I' how to swim. but now I do sliping sleep. Is he okay, no, he's dead. Je that was the end of his life.

So one of my glasses glass one of my glasses glasses did fall out. but we are on the right track. We are getting it back in. See this: The perfectly cut glass fall one second before disaster.

1 second before disaster. Yes, you're next. Oh wa hey Oh This proves my theory that none of the men want to get married. Could this work the other way around? Like guys, catch the bouquet.

Why don't we do that? your expression Priceless She is hot. She is hot. How can you tell she's hot? The quality is absolutely terrible. like bro, you can't even see her ice which is the most important part of a woman's body.

Yes, yes, yes. no ship wave. Okay, that's a good wave. that's a good wave.

was decent wave. Hey now there's two of them. Oh there's three. Hello! Join in on the fun.

Not bad. Oh look, he's even swimming. No big deal. Uhoh uh, that's a no Oh that's oh oh yes.

dude. this got to be brutal to just have to give up. God Damn Dude's body is just going to be like a flat plane on the right side. Jinny, it's going to be like one of these things you know, like a trapezoid.

Yeah, I guess. guess like trapezoid? What? I'm so confused cuz his body just got shaved off. Don't attempt anything like this. I am a trained professional.

He's going to die. Isn't here? Yep. Turn around. turn around.

Oh that's not that bad. Derailed. Oh no oh no no no no no no please. Yeah that L was stupid.

Why didn't you put it more on the exactly on the edge? Although why was this lady filming? She likes to make fun of disabled people like wow I Love Bab! Oh I don't want to watch this. oh vomit time. Oh right in the mouth too. He's got the perfect angle.

Oh she had a taste. she had a taste of the Forbidden yogurt. Why the would you shake a baby in the air? You're just like give me the vomit. Would you eat your baby's vomit? No.

Would you eat my vomit even more? No. neither would ever happen in this world. But if you had to choose one, bomb was going into your mouth, No, we're not answering this useless question cuz I would never put myself in such a position. At least you're in good hands.

Oh not the firemen. Oh my. God Why is it like especially funny if it's like so disabled I Mean that's the proper reaction, right? Like, rather than panicking, they just like pick him right back up. It's like, oh whoops, Drop the man.

Just pick him right back up. put him on unknown obstruction. Dude, there's a bottle. Uh, just stay there the entire time like oh god Oh oh okay.

Dad Jesus I guess I won't ask for lunch. Can you show me something funny? All right, let's check out some things that end well. Can I show you something funny Dad dad sense he can roll off from there. Yeah Oh Jesus I will kill myself now.

change my diapers I Hate babies. No I don't hate them. But I hate the fact that they can die in 3 seconds. Is this why they give us dance senses? Who's they they like God Like God bestows these senses to us because they know it's not fair and they know it's the only way the kid will survive if you pointed a gun to my head and told me finish this level.

I would tell you to pull a trigger I feel yeah I would just be like pull the trigger. Ridiculous. Pull the trigger Piglet. Oh my.

Pull the trigger. just pull it just I Don't care I Don't want to live in this world Oh my. God please. The amount of heart attacks this guy is probably having right now I'm having a heart attack not playing stop stop stop.

It is so easy to not pay attention to your pets like you should. Oh I Don't want to watch this Henry I don't want to watch this I I Don't want to watch this Oh probably's like what the is going on? how is that line? It probably snapped at some point. she doesn't look that concerned. She was like all right dude.

If I were the guy I would have just been like no, this is mine now All right God I Guess like if you have a small dog like that, it's easy to forget that they exist. No. Henry that one was close. the clutch in the grip.

no drop it. Oh he was like 1 cm away from absolute Game of Thrones level of Gore just his brain sprawled out on his high school gym floor Stacy traumatized for life Ninja reflexes. Oh here comes the tire. The wheel of death.

Hello the tire of death. Nice. How is his hand not demolished? Did he get out of the car? He's like not my car. not today I Feel like I would have tried like tackling it or something like use my shoulder or it might dislocate my shoulder.

Yeah I would have just let it hit the car. The salmon of compact cars. oh like it's going Upstream oh look at him. Go! oh my.

God he's got places to go. You know, see, that's the fish that gets all its eggs fertiles f fertiliz I Thought the men fertilized Is he gay? Is he a gay samon? I Don't know. he wants his eggs fertilized. Yes he has eggs.

Who knows. And this salmoni I don't know. Hey y the Mets smoothest catch I've ever seen there bat. oh this man didn't off your death that day.

fast thinking saw this looks like the wheel one I'm going to have Deja dude yeah, this is why ships use tugboats. Wa wait, that's what a tugboat is for. No, a tugboat is for tugging. but he came in clutch I got you bro I Got yeah there you go I Got that fat ass man.

Oh is this what tug bats are for though? oh it's pushing or pulling them. Wait. go back. There's one where he's looking at the camera see he eyes are like hey I'm like can you stop it's fuing creepy dude.

not once twice. Oh wait wait yes. nice. The gods are good today.

Quick dad reflexes. he became an NFL wide receiver for a second. Here's my application: If I could do this with the baby. imagine what I could do with the ball Pirate flip G is not impressed.

No I am. That's why my eyes open bigger. Oh okay. Volleyballers reflexes lost the game.

If you were a true volleyballer, you would have spiked it out. Childhood memories Oh oh, she thinks there's like things inside of it. The sewing needle? No, that's what. Isn't that what it's supposed to be? No, there're supposed to be cookies in there Henry Oh buys those people buy those? Yes, that are not Asian Mothers Yes cuz they're yummy I thought you ate like kid cats.

no those are yummy. Dude saw it coming I think her foot slipped I Love the high School Vibe of it all Hi what are you going to perform at this homecoming dance? We have a routine 5 Six 7. Be careful. oh you just switch it.

Yeah he did and then he left. Wow no way. What a oh what a scam. So this guy just like waits for people who like put it in the wrong way and he just walks away with their money.

Oh Mar you mistakenly could zvelo for her. oh no, you probably had like a million dollars in there. Oh God sure you can have a chip. oh hot nice.

can she eat other things with that tongue if she can wrap her tongue around Pringle like that I wonder what else she can wrap I'm terrified but totally a where's the no? There's no no part of all right that's going to wrap it up for this video. dam I'm adrenaline all right. See you later Peace Thank you so much Watching guys.